Funny Things I Have Heard in My Aviation Career as an Airline Pilot
Last updated: March 5, 2026
Every time I see the news feature a story about airlines, I cringe in anticipation. What negative spin is the media going to project about airlines or airline pilots that is going to make my job harder? It is bad enough if there is an accident or incident—those in itself set the nervous passenger on edge.
But it is the occasional airline pilot issue that sets up a barrage of comments by passengers as they come on the airplane. Granted, pilots doing stupid things does not help promote professionalism, but passengers do not need any more ammo to add to the comments I hear on a weekly basis. They can come up with their own list of unique questions all on their own. Here is a list of phrases or questions that I have personally heard over my career.
Are you a real pilot?
I saw a movie once where a guy pretended to be an airline pilot but really was not. How do you answer this question? Better yet, why are you asking me this question? It's Hollywood—you watched a movie to be entertained. This is not a movie.
I saw the news, have you been drinking?
First of all, no I have not been drinking. Have airline pilots been guilty of this in the past? Yes, occasionally a pilot drinking ruins his aviation career with alcohol. Is it normal? No, and it is certainly not a trend. Secondly, the minute you ask this question or even refer to it, we have to leave the flight and go get a drug test. This also means your flight is canceled or delayed for a few hours. So be careful if you think you have an accusation. No one would fault you if you had a legitimate concern.
Do you know those guys that ran off the runway?
No I do not. There are a lot of pilots in the world and we do not all know each other. Also it would be good to say, please do not believe everything you hear in the media—sensationalism is alive and well in the media.
Do you have any issues today?
No, today I am issue free. In fact, the FAA has instituted a new program called fit for duty. Basically it requires each pilot to verify in writing that they are fit for duty before each flight. This signed piece of paper is filed somewhere and only dragged out if there is some sort of issue.
It is also worth noting that pilots are people too—they do occasionally have issues or problems that weigh on their minds. For example, if you were to experience a death in the family and it was upsetting you, no one would expect you to come to work and fly an airplane. It is not worth it, and studies have shown that those kinds of life stresses contribute to incidents in aviation.
